


We Need Space

by SansationalSinner



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Depressed Hiro, Incest, M/M, Probably OOC but it's fine, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Upsetti Spaghet All Around, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 00:58:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SansationalSinner/pseuds/SansationalSinner
Summary: A chemical imbalance. That's how it's explained. Maybe his feelings are just a result of that. Hiro spirals into a deep depression. Everything he saw and knew said he was wrong. That he was sick, disgusting, even. Breathing became painful. Tadashi had his suspicions, but tried to push his thoughts away. His little brother couldn't be spiraling into a depression. He just, couldn't.





	We Need Space

**Author's Note:**

> Big wow, self-harm right at the beginning. Lots of blood and graphic content ahead.

Hiro was cooped up under the covers of his bed. He felt like he was suffocating with the heat that built up quickly under the covers. Tadashi was at his nerd school and his Aunt Cass was running the café below, too busy to notice her nephew breaking apart at the seams above. A lockable box, that his brother had given him for his fifteenth birthday, sat on the nightstand beside the bed. The key had always stayed wrapped around his neck on a string, or at the very least in the pocket of his shorts. It was always there as a strong reminder for him.

Forcing himself to sit up, Hiro reached out toward the box. It was small, fitting in his cupped hands nicely. It was meant for little trinkets and other what-have-yous, but the young male was using it for something much sinister. His warm fingers slid over the top of the wooden box. If he hadn't been feeling so bad, Hiro would have been bothered by the girly golden flowers painted on the black surface. The soft clink of the metal falling from the now unlocked box had set his fate. There was always a heavy pit in his stomach when he opened the box. Crimson stained silver filled the box's bottom and used medical bandages lay strewn in the box, almost no white on it now. 

Hiro was sure that someone had inhaled the oddly scented metallic smell.

No one questioned him, at least.

His slim fingers ran across one of his many blades, carefully picking it up. Hiro set the box back in place, leaving it open, and kicked the cover off of himself. His hands viciously ripped at his shorts, pulling the thin clothing up. Salt infused tears poured down onto his leg in slow drops, as if he were trying to drown himself. His heart felt heavy. Empty. He felt alone and lost. Hiro's glassy, doe-like eyes skimmed over the many scars he already had, thin and light, to pink and large, just looking for anywhere  _ clean.  _ Once he found a reasonable spot, Hiro etched the word  _ alone  _ into his leg. The word soon lost its meaning as the blood covered it, making the word illegible.

How he wished someone would come and scoop him up, making the thoughts disappear just like the flowing blood made the word seemingly disappear.

Hiro thought about Tadashi a lot in these moments. It was all his fault. Dashi's stupid smile, perfectly straight teeth, and the way he cared. Oh God, the way he  _ cared.  _ It pained Hiro. So, so much. Here recently Tadashi had been so busy in the lab or studying, he had been neglecting Hiro. He still knew his big brother cared. Hiro just stayed out of his way as to not be a burden. In all honesty, Tadashi was his only reason to stay alive. He cherished the moments it was just the two of them, Tadashi's laugh echoing through the room because of a stupid joke.

Now that a sufficient amount of blood stained his legs and the sheets beneath him, Hiro shakily turned his body toward the edge of the bed. He picked up the bandages, which were most likely highly unsanitary at this point, and placed the razor back into the box, closing it and relocking it. It would always be his dirty secret. The weight that Hiro carried upon his shoulders was immense. It felt like he could barely take a step due to the sudden strength gravity had on him. Either way, the ravenette made it to the bathroom he shared with his older brother.

Hiro did his best to clean the blood off of his legs, although some had already started to dry around the edges. It felt like he was pouring salt directly onto his open wounds. This was a tantalizing game he played with his body, and he knew it, too. However, the young boy couldn’t bring himself to care at that moment.

The bloody bandages were now securely on his injured leg, wrapped so tight that it felt as if he were cutting his circulation off. Hiro pulled his shorts back down and walked out with some toilet paper, cleaning up the mess he had trailed along the floor. It was always therapeutic in some ways when he cleaned up his mess. Hiro knew he was alive.

It had soon become a routine to him. Forcing himself up, cleaning the blood, and tossing the bloody sheet in the washer and dryer afterward, and then remaking his bed. Normally, Tadashi would be home a few minutes after is clean up. And just like that, the door to the attic swung open.

Hiro put on his best fake smile, watching as his older brother drop his backpack next to the doorway. “Welcome home, bro.” There was that tone again. He never sounded so… empty before. Tadashi had a large grin on his face and walked over to greet his little brother by rubbing his head.

“Hey, knucklehead! How was your day? A lot of inventing in that big brain of yours?”

The younger Hamada’s smile faltered a bit. Oh, if only his big brother knew the hell he had put himself in to. “Yeah, when am I not?” Tadashi either didn’t notice the odd tone, or decided to ignore it, continuing on with his interrogation.

“Well, can I actually see one of them today?”

“No, ‘Dashi, I told you, it’s a surprise.”

The lie flew out of Hiro’s lips like a poison laced silk. His brother just chuckled and shook his head, walking in long strides to his side of the room.

“Well, I’m going to start studying for tomorrow's exam.”

Hiro just silently nodded and curled back under the cover. In just an hour from now, Aunt Cass would close the café and call the boys down for dinner. She always made the most wonderful meals and mouthwateringly scrumptious desserts for the small family to indulge in. Hiro shook those thoughts away, his stomach making a low growl. He hadn’t properly eaten in a while.

“Oh, it’s just my project, I have to work on it. I’ll come back for it later,” or, “I’m kind of feeling sick right now Aunt Cass, but I’ll come back for it when I feel better!” At this point, he had become a natural liar. His ribcage poked through his milky skin and his stomach was nonexistent. However, Mochi did seem to be getting fatter everyday.

Sometimes, Hiro would be so exhausted that he’d just wave his brother away. He always regretted it afterward. Hiro knew he was being stubborn, but he also knew bot fights would get him nowhere. It never stopped him, though.

A set routine fell in place. Each night, a new bot fight, his brother showing up and saving the day, and the cool breeze of the wind hitting his face as they rode back to the Lucky Cat Café in silence. Tadashi would lecture him, each time the bags under his tired eyes getting darker and his posture slacking. It was taking a toll on the eldest Hamada brother, but Hiro blamed that on his brother as well. If only he hadn’t followed him and sewn tracking devices into his clothing.

Soon, Hiro fell asleep, not realising he had been silently crying.

 

* * *

 

A soft shake of Hiro’s shoulder woke him from his peaceful sleep.

“Hiro, buddy, it’s time to get up. Dinner’s ready.”

Slowly but surely, Hiro sat up in his bed, and swung his legs over the side. He yawned and stretched, almost reaching out for Tadashi. Instead, he slowly withdrew and looked up at ‘Dashi. “Did you finish studying, bro?”

Tadashi nodded and lifted his little brother off of the bed.

“And guess what, knucklehead?” Tadashi beamed affectionately at his little brother. Hiro just gave him a confused look. He often did that nowadays. “I have a surprise for you after dinner!” Hiro gave his best grin and huddled closer to Tadashi as he was being carried down a flight of stairs.

Aunt Cass’ spicy hot wings could be smelled from a mile away. They were so hot that they could melt the face right off a person, but they were still Hiro’s favourite meal. His stomach growled loudly at the smell of the wings and he practically leaped off of Tadashi in order to set himself down at the dinner table.

“Those smell amazing, Aunt Cass!”

The older woman turned and smiled at Hiro. She was so happy to see him down for dinner. It had been awhile. He looked happy, his mouth practically becoming a waterfall of his own saliva. Cass placed the plate full of hot wings in front of Hiro and Tadashi. There was popcorn already crackling up a storm in the microwave. Aunt Cass would be binge watching something tonight. She wouldn’t join them to eat.

“How was your day Tadashi?” She asked. Hiro tuned out of their conversation, instead choosing to gulp down the food like he hadn’t eaten in years. It had definitely been a long time since he actually ate something. Hiro had savoured the hot taste that set his taste buds on fire. It was definitely one of Aunt Cass’ best meals.

Once dinner had finished, rather uneventful, Tadashi ushered Hiro back upstairs to the attic.

“I made some upgrades to Baymax, but that’s not the coolest thing I’ve done, Hiro!” His older brothers voice was filled with such excitement about his creation. It made Hiro’s heart ache. He felt like he was holding him back.

Tadashi made his way passed the divider that rarely ever was closed, and pulled out a tiny box. It was wrapped in a colourful wrapping paper and had been tied with a neat bow at the top. Tadashi practically thrust the box into Hiro’s hands, excited for his reaction.

He looked at the box with uncertainty. Had his brother done something for him? What a waste of his smarts. Hiro gave Tadashi a nervous smile and slowly opened it, so that he wouldn’t upset his big brother. Inside the box was a small robot. Hiro could fit it in the palm of his hand.

“Press the button on his back.” Tadashi instructed.

Hiro did just that. It’s eyes blinked and looked up at Hiro curiously. It stood up on his hand and waved.

“Hello, Hiro.” The bot’s monotone voice said.

“Heh, he’s like a little Baymax. Cute.” Tadashi was jumping slightly on his toes, something Hiro noticed he did when overly excited or happy.

“I figured that you get pretty lonely up here all by yourself during the day, so I made him for you.” Hiro hugged his brother, being careful not to harm the fragile-looking bot in his hand.

“Thanks big bro.”

After a few hours of asking questions to Tadashi about the functions of the bot and playing around with it, he found himself crawling into his bed with tiredness hung over him. Hiro didn’t even get to say a word as his eyes closed, immediately falling asleep. Tadashi smiled at his little brother and covered him up with a blanket. He placed a soft kiss on his brothers head and set the bot on Hiro’s night stand.

“Keep an eye on Hiro’s behaviour for me, little buddy.” Tadashi whispered to the bot. Its yellow glowing eyes blinked back at Tadashi and turned green, indicating that it would start the process of recording Hiro’s actions.

Tadashi walked to his side of the room and curled up in his bed, falling asleep almost as easily as Hiro had just moments before. 


End file.
